check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
