also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
