so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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