Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I party with great urgency now.
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