so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
