thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
