erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
