we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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