Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
