Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
