VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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