if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Terrible idea I love it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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