I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
