he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize