So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
