I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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