Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I believe in your delicious
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize