just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
