when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
so much tequila, so little girl.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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