conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
