i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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