i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
