who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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