K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
