Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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