I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
