I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
