Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
