paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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