Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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