just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
