You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
