I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
