a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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