you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize