Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
