as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
