Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize