So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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