He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
