This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
