Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
