1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
