i permit you to call me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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