not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
