My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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