Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
