That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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