You're my little dorito
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
