Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize