I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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