Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
