Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
