he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
