he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
