I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
