Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
