I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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