Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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