Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
