I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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