i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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