It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
