so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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