Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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