Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i permit you to call me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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