He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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