Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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