the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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