I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
