i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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