lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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